It's been nearly a year and a half since I've been with Hailey. The woman I'm going to marry in under two months now, and we've been tested and pushed to limits I didn't know I, or we had. Yet we're still standing tall. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the backstory in short: four days after we started dating, her grandma, known commonly as 'Nonnie' was diagnosed with uterus cancer. This led into a six-month battle leading up to her passing away two days before Hailey's 19th birthday. What made this hard was that Hailey and Nonnie were close. She was one of the closest people to Nonnie, and it crushed Hailey day after day when all of this was happening.
Nonnie passed away, only for me to find out that my grandmother in Colorado had lung cancer. I flew back with my family to spend time with her before it became terminal a week after I had visited with her. She passed away shortly after I saw her for the last time.
Then, during all of this..I lost touch with my family. Actually, I had lost touch with them before all of this, but I didn't realize it. You see, before I met Hailey, I dated....a lot. I saw dating as going out with someone to get to know them, and it wasn't a relationship until I asked them to be my girlfriend. Anyway, I lost touch of who I really was in my relationship prior to Hailey. The girl I was with controlled a lot of things, and I bent myself backwards to make sure she was happy, but I was far from it. I changed my goals and dreams, and I fought my parents and sister over things deep down I knew was right, but didn't know how to deal with in the relationship with this girl at the time. I broke up with her, spent some time reflecting, and finally realized what I wanted in relationships. I said I was going to stay single for a long time, only for that to change when I met Hailey (six weeks after I broke up with the other girl). But, I lost touch of who I was, and was trying to show that I was back to being 'normal' me. It took a lot of struggles for my family to see that, and to see that Hailey was it.
We had a lot of drama with my family, and we all had to learn to meet in the middle, and work things out like we never have done in ways before. And through this, I had friends and 'family' who I trusted, and who I vented to, and people I expected just to be a listening ear, and let me get my frustrations out. Turns out that that caused drama to ensue as well, feelings to be hurt, people to drop out, and plans to change. Yet, I'm still standing. It's hard, because I've lost people I've cared about. I know that I opened up a bit more than I should have, and didn't know better, but I also wrongly expected things from others that just simply didn't happen. I pray that all my friendships and relationships can be fixed, but that comes with time, and I'm deeply grateful for the friends who have stuck by my side through all of this.
Also, factor in a car accident that totaled my first car, and recently, Hailey's dad who could have died if we didn't get him to the hospital in time due to strep throat and pnuemonia, there has been a huge amount of pain and negative things happening. Yet, we're still standing tall.
I'm getting married to Hailey on March 22nd. She is my best friend, and I love her more than anyone in this world. She's smart and intuitive, and she's beautiful. Her smile is contagious, and she has a wonderful laugh that is infectious. Some people think we won't work. Some actually from what I've heard, have bets placed on us on how long we'll last, even if we're married. Some think we're too young. Too immature. Too this, too that. Well, I'm not out to prove anyone wrong. I'm too busy for that. So, in 25 years, I'll let my actions and love speak for itself. Because I believe in love. I believe in forever. I believe in Hailey, and I believe that God's given me the best gift I could ever have received, and that's a partner who will love me for all the goofy stupidness that I am, a partner who will just get up and go with me on the grandest of adventures. I believe that this is a love that is once in my life time, and if you love someone so much like this, you can't ever let it go, because something like the way I feel about Hailey? You can't ever have something like that again. I believe that the last year and a half has been hard, yes. But I believe that if we can get through everything that we have: death, accidents, medical emergencies, lost friends and family, and more, then we can get through anything together. This year, on March 22nd is going to be a symbolic day not only to show that our marriage is starting in front of our family and friends who are there to support us, but also a day to start fresh and new, and pray that the road ahead is a tad easier than what it's started out to be. But above all of this, I know that we're going through it all together.
